The Best of Baseball – Tosh.0

Cute trick, now choke up and hit a sac fly, rook. Meet wiffle boy. The best wiffle ball pitcher in the world, which will open up zero doors for him in life. But I don’t give a crap how ridiculous those pitches are, I can take anyone deep. Nice to meet you wiffle boy. Actually, […]

Hannibal Buress – Live From Chicago – Betting on Basketball

One of my favorite things about coming back home to Chicago, I get to hang with my niece and my nephew. They’re six and eight, or they were six and eight when this joke was written. Six and eight. I gave ’em both a couple bucks. Their father’s a finance guy, so he’s teaching ’em […]

If We Treated Teachers Like Pro Athletes – Key & Peele

(male announcer) Teaching Center is brought to you by BMW. The ultimate driving machine. [upbeat rock music] ♪ ♪ Hello and welcome toTeaching Center.I’m Boyd Maxwell, with today’s top stories from the exciting world of teaching. And I’m Perry Schmidt. Well, now we know. The long awaited announcement by star English teacher Ruby Ruhf has […]

Kroll Show – Oh, Hello – Basketball

[upbeat jazz music] ♪ – SO, GIG, SHOULD WE STRETCH FIRST? – NO, LET’S JUST, YOU KNOW, STAY TIGHT AND GET INJURED. – CHECK IT OUT. LEW ALCINDOR. OKAY. ALL RIGHT. – WHAT’S GOING ON? – THAT JUST– SOMETHING JUST TWEAKED– A LITTLE SOMETHING–REAL BAD. – I LIKE TO ROTATE UNTIL THE PAIN SPREADS AND […]

March Sadness: Basketball Season on Tosh.0

[indistinct audio] – NO! [audience ohs] – OH! REJECTED! [laughter] MAYBE HE SHOULD JUST BE ONE OF THOSE INDOOR KIDS THAT READS. MAYBE MOLLY MAIDS THERE WILL HELP CLEAN UP YOUR FACE. [laughter] THAT DOESN’T LOOK VERY HARD. I WANT TO TRY. SCORE. DO YOU WANT ME TO HONESTLY TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES THAT […]

Godfrey: Black People “Dominate Sports” – This Week at the Comedy Cellar

>>WHAT’S UP, GUYS? MY NAME IS GODFREY. ORIGINALLY FROM CHICAGO. PARENTS FROM WEST AFRICA, NIGERIA. HAD A VERY DIVERSE GROUP OF FRIENDS. OUR BASEBALL TEAM, WE HAD A PITCHER FROM INDIA. FIRST BASEMAN WAS FROM MEXICO. I’M NIGERIAN. WE HAD AFRICAN-AMERICANS. WE WERE SO MIXED I REMEMBER WHEN WE PLAYED ALL WHITE TEAMS, THEY WOULD […]

Bert Kreischer – Fighting a Bear – This Is Not Happening – Uncensored

The machine, Mr. Bert Kreischer, everybody. Let him hear it. [cheers and applause] I fought a bear one time. [laughs] I know–It sounds as ridiculous to me as it does to you. But I used to have a show calledHurt Bert.It was on FX, and I used to take new men’s dangerous jobs. Every week, […]

Key & Peele – Consequences

[school bell rings] [indistinct chatter] OKAY, STUDENTS, SETTLE DOWN. SETTLE DOWN. THAT INCLUDES YOU, MR. RODRIGUEZ. DO YOU WANT TO TAKE THE MILK CARTON OFF OF YOUR HEAD? THANK YOU SO MUCH. WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST TODAY. HE’S FROM THIS NEIGHBORHOOD, AND HE’S A FORMER GANG MEMBER, AND HE’S COMING HERE THIS MORNING TO […]

Tom Segura Overdoses – This Is Not Happening – Uncensored

– This woman goes “Hey Tom, you are in the emergency room and you overdosed.” And they’re like “what did you take?” So, I write, ‘Heroine.’ And they go “Are you serious?” And, I write, “Jk.” (intense dubstep music) – [Ari Shaffir] Welcome to ‘This Is Not Happening’ presents one crazy night. So, this is […]

Boarding Order – Key & Peele

– Good morning ladies and gentlemen, we are about to begin boarding South Northern Airlines, flight 34 to Grand Rapids. – Okay, excuse me, boarding group one. I’m gonna board in group one, excuse me, I’m in boarding group one. – And we would like to begin pre-boarding with our first class passengers. First class […]