Man Who Survived Jump From Golden Gate Bridge Shares His Story

Man Who Survived Jump From Golden Gate Bridge Shares His Story

– At the age of 17 I
developed bipolar disorder, a very severe form. It nearly cost me my life, and nearly destroyed my family. (slow music) My parents were in the middle of getting a divorce at the time. It was a tumultuous time
for my life as a teen, and I believed that I was the only one under that cloud, but that’s, that’s so far from the truth, so far from fact. 50 million people around the world diagnosed mentally ill. So many more undiagnosed, but that have the diseases that are in their brains. I don’t wanna have this disease. I don’t wanna be flawed. Bipolar disorder, that’s not me. I was a wrestling champion in
the WCL league in California, there’s no way. My football team went to state, this is garbage. And I was in so much denial, and that denial ruled the day, until I crashed, hard. And it was September 24th, when it all came to a head. I sat at my desk and I penned that note, “Mom, Dad, Brother, Sister,
Girlfriend, Best Friend, love you but I gotta go.” I was gonna go to the Golden Gate, and I was gonna disappear. I thought I was my family’s burden. I wish I asked them. I just wanted the pain to stop. That’s the common denominator with people who lose to suicide, they just want the pain to stop, but what they don’t realize is that their thoughts don’t have to become their actions. Their thoughts don’t have to take over, if you can recognize those thoughts as flawed and illogical because suicide is an
irrational state of mind. You think you have to die, but you don’t really want to. You know I found myself in my
father’s room that morning, I startled him awake, he looked at me, he said, “Kev, what’s wrong?”, like with parental instinct. I said, “Nothing Dad, I just want to tell you that I love you.” It was for the very last time. He goes, “I love you too Kev, but it’s six in the morning, and I don’t gotta be to work til nine, go back to bed.” I walked around to the
other side of the bed, I sat on the carpeted floor, and I rocked myself
back and forth in tears begging myself to tell the one man who loves me the most
in the world the truth, but the voice in my head said, “Be quiet Kevin, you have to die.” And that’s what took me to
the Golden Gate that morning. I took a bus there, and on that bus all I wanted to do was
scream and beg for help and live, but the voice became so loud. I sat on that bus in the
back row middle seat, I’m crying my eyes out like a baby, mucous dripping from my nose, people staring at me now,
then I’m yelling aloud at the voices in my head. I desperately wanted someone
to say, “Are you okay?” I would have told them everything. (soft music) Fear. Apathy. There was a guy to my left, said to the fellow next to him, while pointing at me with his thumb, “What the hell is wrong with that kid?” with a smile on his face. Apathy, that’s his or her
problem but it ain’t mine. The bus got to the bridge,
I sat there crying. Bus driver turned, he stood, he looked at me and he said, “Kid, come on, get off
the bus, I gotta go.” I walked across the walkway
of the Golden Gate Bridge for 40 minutes, up and
down, back and forth, crying like a baby. Bikers, joggers, tourists, runners, they all went by me. Police officers searching
for suicidal people went by me twice. I’m leaning over the
rail crying like a baby, they went by me twice, nobody cares. And the voice in my head said, “Jump now”, and I did. At the millisecond that
my hands left that rail, instant regret for my actions. And the absolute recognition, that I just made the
greatest mistake of my life. You know falling head first, right as my body accidentally landed in a position that wouldn’t kill me. On the way down I said to myself, What have I just done?
I don’t want to die. God please save me.”,
and then I hit the water. I went down 70 feet beneath
the water’s surface, but I opened my eyes,
my legs I couldn’t move. I had shattered my T12,
L1, and L2 lower vertebrae into chards like glass. I had missed severing my spinal cord by two millimeters. I swam to the surface only using my arms. When I came to the surface, bobbing up and down in the water, swallowing salt water, kept going down, couldn’t stay afloat. A woman driving by in her
red car saw me go over and she called her friend
in the Coast Guard. The reason the Coast Guard got to my body within less than the time I was hitting hypothermia and drown, was because of that woman
making that phone call. The Coast Guard arrived, they fished me out of the water, they put me on a flat board, they put a neck brace around my neck, and they started asking
me a bunch of questions. The guy looks at me, he
leans in, and he says, “Kid, do you know how many people we pull out of this water
that are already gone?” And I said, “No, and I don’t wanna know.” And he said, “Well I’m gonna tell you. This unit has pulled 57 dead
bodies out of this water, and one live one.” (slow music) I looked up at my dad and
I said, “Dad, I’m sorry.” And he looked down at me
and with great conviction he said, “No Kevin, I’m sorry.” And waterfalls flew from his eyes. He put his hand on my forehead and he said words I’ve never forgotten, “Kevin, you are going
to be okay, I promise.” And that got me through the night. Now I had this opportunity to recover. And a lot of people think
that I went from this incident and was like, “Oh, I’m
so much better now.” You know, oh great, it’s all gone. No, this was just the beginning. (soft music) In the first three psych
ward stays, involuntary, forced in against my will. But those next four, I
found self awareness, I found the ability to say, “I’m gonna accept that
I have this disease, I’m gonna fight it tooth and nail, I’m gonna beat it one day at a time.” And that’s what I’ve been doing. Exercising everyday,
eating healthy most days, educating myself about bipolar disorder, being able to utilize all of those things, work them into a regimen, a routine, that helps keep me here. The common denominator of recovery from mental illness is routine. There are so many things we can do that are not clinically based for all the people that don’t get clinical care. If you can train your body
and your mind to wake up at the same time, go to
bed at the same time, take your pills at the same time, if you’re on medication which
helps some people, not all. Train your body and mind
to eat at the same times, roughly within a two hour period everyday, workout even as simple
as 23 minutes a day, that leads to 12 hours of better mood, your 8 second hugs wherever you can, 8 second hugs release
endorphins in the brain that make you feel better. I thought that I had one chance, one choice, one burden to take care of, I had to die, and I was wrong. Learn from me. Know that your thoughts don’t have to become your actions. You were not meant for this world, to leave it by way of suicide too soon. But one thing you can never do, one thing you should never do, is silence your pain. I silenced my pain for years, I buried it deep down inside me like so many people do, and I lost myself. And it came out in a burst of rage against myself that led me to attempt to take my life. I want you to learn from me, suicide is not the answer, and you deserve to be here, for you. But your pain is valid, your pain is real, and your pain matters because you do. No matter what you think
about how you aren’t valued or you’re worthless, it’s not the truth. You have to find a way
to turn back to logic, logic says that, “I do get to live, you matter, you’re
beautiful, we need you.” Please, be here tomorrow.

100 thoughts on “Man Who Survived Jump From Golden Gate Bridge Shares His Story

  • God didn’t want you to die that day. He had other plans for you to tell your story and save other people’s lives. God bless

  • The only reason he is alive is because he cried out to God in his last seconds…..hope he eventually gets around to giving God the thanks He deserves. He needs to get his bible open & start reading the ultimate psychology book.

  • You are a straight up big spoiled baby that was and is your problem..grow tf up u big baby bitch .you don't have to ever try to survive thats are taken care of lifes a fucking struggle since day 1 fighting to survive and get by i don't have time to curl up n cry like you or Even think to jump off a fucking bridge. Fucking looser you just wasted space on YouTube.

  • Beautiful story. Well said . Thank you for helping others. My wife just lost her 48 year old cousin to suicide 2 weeks ago. Such a loss. I wish she would have seen this but you will and I’m sure already have saved lives. God bless.

  • Thank you for the video. I started watching it because at this very second and in fact for probably a few months I've been pondering the best way to leave this world without hurting those who I would leave behind. My life is a mess oh, I don't know who I can talk to who I cannot talk to. I don't want to be branded as some mentally unstable person. The fact of the matter is I've held high positions of public Trust and people have turned to me for strength since I was a kid. I'm beyond middle-age now and I need help and I don't know how to ask for it. I don't know how to ask for it especially people you take me seriously because I have been their strength for so long. Anybody have some more advice please let me know. I'm scared to call a suicide hotline I'm quite scared to really talk to anyone about this because again I'm afraid of being branded and I'm afraid of those people that I do know that would not take me serious. But I appreciate your video and I'll try to watch more like it. I have subscribed and hope to see more.

  • Thank you for this video i know so many people who didn't see this video in time. I hope your doing well now all our love from Ireland 👍

  • USA leads its peers in suicide deaths using firearms.
    Living in a home with firearms increases risk of homicide by 40% to 170%.
    “. “. “. “. “. “. suicide. by 90% to 460%.
    How bedeviling after firing to realize you want to live.
    I wish you a happy life Kevin and all survivors 👌

  • This takes so much courage to tell his story like this!😭💙 If anyone is suffering please know that your loved and your not alone I LOVE YOU 💕 please never let go as there’s always people to talk to who can help you if ever your feeling like your ready to give up stop and please call 1-800-273-8255 GODBLESS YOU ALL❤️

  • I am so proud of you.!! I feel your pain.!! Mental illnes hurts so bad.!! You said it right ,our thoughts do not dictate our actions. You survived for a REASON.!!! YOU SURVIVED FOR A Reason.¡ God bless you sir. I lost everything.! My wife,my 3 children, EVERYTHING… due to mental illness

  • My God you are so prophetic… You help me, you help thousands. The pain is real,the torture in our brains exists. The self loathing,the depression, anxiety,fear, loneliness, isolation, substance abuse…….. In the end ,it is up to each of each to TALK!! R U IN pain??

  • He touched my heart. I was there when I lost my son. I couldn't bare life anymore. I'm so happy your plan didn't go through. Love and positivity 💙💙💙

  • I'm bipolar too. And I am facing a horrible situation. I am fighting right this second, the thoughts of suicide. I'm tired. I'm old. I'm unloved. Everyday is more pain. Everytime I wake up, i hate it. I have fought these thoughts all my life. But I'm 64 now. And I don't see why I should keep fighting. Thank you for your thoughts. May GOD bless you all.

  • 581 people gave a thumbs down to this video, I don’t understand why.
    Thanks for sharing your story,, it was courageous and inspiring.

  • Keep up the good work my friend… life is very hard at times / but has so much beauty and love in it☝️finding it is the journey 🙏🏻 (Jesus is lord👈♥️

  • 4:13 he said God please save me. 57 dead bodies scooped up by the coast guard, he was the one live one. That is Jesus the Savior Hallelujah! Glory to God!

  • Very strange way to think….I was on winning school football & wrestling teams, there's no way I have mental issues.
    Sounds like he may have been a school jock bully.
    Thinking, only losers & freaks have mental issues, I play sports so I'm better than them.

  • I wasn't trying to kill myself when I fell off of a house. But a lot of the same feeling come through stop feeling sorry for myself and being very depressed and saying why me a little bit. But I have taken this experience of almost dying to in joy life more and to really realize that I am important and people do care about me. And that things could of been worse. I am back at work not quite 100% but I am able to do my job. I spent some time at physical rehab center and to see the people there knowing that their lives are going to be fucked up for ever made me really appreciate just how luck I am.

  • Kevin, you are certainly an inspiration! Everyone should hear your story! It’s sad that there are so many people who feel like they don’t mean anything. It can definitely be a struggle. There is a song by Alex Boye’ called, “Bend, Not Break”, which he has done in light of suicide prevention. It is an awesome song, I think many people would benefit from hearing and watching his video. We all need to know that we are loved!🥰

  • Powerful! Depression is an epidemic. People feel 0 hope. Our minds really can be our worst enemy. Feed your brain positive thoughts about yourself, your future your attitude. I have been there thinking I was of no value. It’s Bullshit! Everyone has purpose! God Bless!👊

  • Depression is very real ..ive been there like Kevin…tried to commit suicide 4 times but something was in the way ..i can attest that life is very cruel and tough to deal with but with the right help and guidance you can become a survivor and a strong individual ..just trust in God !!

  • Hey BIG ED here still on my wife's tablet
    This is why I try and be kind
    A hug. A kind word.
    A small conversation
    Your kind words could
    Mean the difference of someone
    Giving up or keep trying
    It doesn't hurt to be kind

  • I'm sharing your story. I know the fight, it's real. God's Blessings for you and all of us who could be you. Thanks. 💞

  • When he said the unit pulled 57 dead bodies out of the water and one live one. Was really the first survivor?

  • Wow. Beautiful and POWERFUL. Thanks for sharing your story and helping others. Also I think this shows that by us just saying how are you or hello to strangers can help them out or make a difference. By people not saying a word or pretending you don't exist is everything that is wrong with the world today.

  • this guy is such an inspiration. he is such a miracle. i have gone through similar things, and i know that you just have to keep fighting. if you see this and you feel suicidal, i promise you, on everything i have, that you have a purpose. I love you and if you need anything my discussion tab is always open, or call 1-800-784-2433

  • I was on the Edge of my seat listening to YOUR Incredible Story ….. Thumb Up and Favorite … Cheers Zulu

  • I saw a video on YouTube of people jumping off that bridge and I consider myself to be pretty tough. After watching about half and this one person that had long hair jump it tore me apart. I cried and was very depressed for a while. I have hated myself enough to do such a thing In the past plus i have felt so alone that i felt like doing such a thing just to say a big F.YOU , but i didn't do it. 🖤🖤🖤. God bless you man you are so blessed and loved.

  • Something that has helped me through dark times is the reminder that everything is temporary. The pain isn't going to last forever, it will stop. Nothing lasts forever, you can and will get through it. If you are having a tough time please reach out to someone. It is not weak to ask for help, it takes enormous courage to admit to yourself that something isn't right and to get help for it. If you see someone who is in pain reach out to them. Don't try to fix them but just love them and be there, remind them they are not a burden, tell them how much they matter to you and why. Going to therapy is one of the best decisions I've ever made. I learned more about myself than most people learn in a lifetime.

  • You should work in one of those Centers where they help guys in your situation. Maybe helping to prevent these events. There must be a way to intercept suffering young men.

  • Thank you for sharing. There is a lot of misinformation on suicide. I tried it when I was 18. I'm 67 now. Bless.

  • Thank you so much for this video….😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

  • Suicide doesn’t end pain it’s only shift it to people that’s loves you . When you wanna kill yourself think about your family think about your mom your dad Nd your kids !!!!!!

  • Verry heart touching speech. Made me cry ,ill pray for all you people that have mental illness. I love you guys please ask for help and let god come in to your hearts amen…..Jesus loves you and me

  • ****READ THIS IF YOU****

    “are depressed/suicidal/sad and I’ve got no one to listen to me”

    I beg you
    I beg you with all my heart to truly read this and to keep this in your head in your times of need ,please 💝

    You know that one person you’ve told about your thoughts ,that one person who listens to you all the time ,it doesn’t even have to be someone in specific ,it can be your parents who have no idea about your state and thoughts .just know that that they’re really here for you ,forget the cheesiness of it ,they really are here to risk a LIMB just to make you get better ,they love you ,so much more dearly than you think.please ,please I beg you with all my heart and soul that please take a second just admire what they have done for you …they know you’re a beautiful strong courageous person yet just haven’t seen that side of yourself ,there’s so much left for you in this world ,so much to learn ,so many blessings…happiness and joy that would be impossible to imagine now but I assure you ,I’m no time traveler ,no noble person or anything ,but I assure you that everything single little thing keeping you from owning the happiness and content that you STRIVE FOR ,will a BILLION present go away.

    “Being at a horrible state of mind ,you automatically assume the worst of everything ,forgetting the infinite possibilities In which something is not as bad as might of thought if you JUST look at your situation from another perspective “

    I wish you all the best and trust me , every single tiny little thing will never ever ever last for ever ,so don’t ,don’t convince your self so just because it seems impossible .

    Here’s some hearts ❤️❤️🧡🧡💛💛💚💚💙💙💜💜❣️❣️💕💕💞💞💓💓💗💗💖💖💘💘💝💝 ,replace your old thoughts with something a little lighter ,treat yourself ,eat alot ,spoil yourself because you know what ,it’s been long since you’ve felt great about your self ,so go ! Go ahead and eat ,watch a movie and just make yourself feel comfortable and you don’t even need company with you !

    Love ,your virtual best friend ❤️

  • Incredible story. Shame on our society that so many people did not stop to help him when it was so clear that he was in need of help. Brave guy. But it is not logic that we need in this world, it is love.

  • I remember that day. I was a nurse at UCSF when you did that. I was met by my roommate at a cafe after work and he told me. I was so scared for you. I'm glad you're still here.

  • Wow powerful message ! God bless you and the message is going to save many..
    Today I had a long day and it change my perspective over the situation I am going through, this was meant to be for me to see this. ❤️ god bless u Kevin

  • I lost my husband to suicide. We had a 1 year old little girl. Today, she is 32 years old, it still hurts. 😪. I'm very glad this man made it. ❤

  • Did you ever realize that you were under demonic attack and instead of putting your faith in pills and psychology that you needed JESUS? Hell is real and killing yourself will usher in an eternity of pain and torture. Hope you got saved. I’m so happy you lived. I will say a prayer for you.

  • If I would’ve saw you on that bridge pacing back & forth, I would most definitely have ask you if you were ok. No doubt in my mind. I would’ve made a new friend. I am just that type of person. I notice everyone & everything. Thank you for your story. You’ve saved many lives!!! I care about you. 🌹😘❤️

  • I was crying like a baby. How sad that no one helped him on the bus or the bridge. People should be kinder…

  • Awesome message! My cousin committed suicide at the age of 15. I didn't know she was in pain until she left us!

  • It's my firm belief that the majority, if not all, of the people who attempt or succeed at suicide are sick and fuckin tired of being unable to not see things for what they really are.

  • There exists people in the world who commit suicide but don’t actually take their own life just check out and dropout and don’t care what happens to themselves. I think they could be reached by this guys message as well

  • I absolutely ADORE this man! Using his mistake to help others who may not be lucky enough to live through the attempt! God bless this guy!

  • Moving. 🙏 Thank you for sharing. We need to all care for each other more. Let's all commit to making a difference in how we impact those around us IRL.

  • So you try to kill yourself and then want to tell a story about it? I'm going to say that is weak. How about doing it right the first time and dying like a man. If you don't want to live, fine, but don't go looking for shoulders to cry on if you can't finish the job. Your committing emotional blackmail. If someone tells me they tried to kill themselves before, I don't play into the whole feeling sorry for them shtick. I tell them I don't give a damn what they do with their life. It isn't my problem. Harsh? Maybe. But that's life.

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